Brand new for 2026, a guest appearance by The Mustache Rangers on the A Couple of N3rds podcast! Enjoy it with your pets and captors.
Holiday Cards: Podcast Episode 256
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:28 — 6.5MB)
Cards, books, and money. Isn’t that really what the holidays are about? You receive cards that look good on your mantel until the year rolls over. You receive books that you’ll never read. Or you get a card full of money. Really, those are the only three options.
Sure, there may be a bike thrown in for good measure when you’re younger. But beyond that, even as a baby who can’t read you get books. Why all the books, adults? We know that rabbits are furry. Do we really need Pat the Bunny to tell us this? If you can’t tell from looking at it that bunnies are soft, then you’re in for a lifetime of hardships. Or soft ships.
You probably don’t want to use soft ships, or “rafts” as they are most commonly known. At least, not on the ocean. A raft is like a serving platter for sharks.
What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the podcast. Listen to the new podcast. It’s about the holidays, we think. And happy Terrance Day to you.
How the Bread is Made
We know! You hate this podcast drought! But things have been busy are Mustache Rangers Central Command. There is a lot of theater going on. We think it is some kind of virus. A thespian virus. Don’t let any actors bite you.
Until a new show goes up, you can listen to Aric talk about how the Mustache Rangers podcast is made on the Seekrit Projekt podcast.
No, spell check. That’s how it’s spelled. Leave me alone.
Back Soon?
We’re sorry for the unexpected hiatus. Family stuff and happenstance. Don’t worry. We should be back next week? Notice the question mark. We are not committing, but hopeful.
A Short Intermission
The Mustache Rangers podcast will be taking a short two week intermission. With the avalanche of live shows we have been and will be doing, our time has become a little limited. But do not fret! We will be back on track shortly!
Take this time to listen to older podcasts, share with your friends, and get out to one of our live shows at HUGE Improv Theater.
Thanks for continuing to listen! We probably love you.
Top Ways to Get People to Visit Your Website
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Toilet paper orientation – Computer-pedia
(photo by Aaron Landry)
Toilet paper orientation is an issue created by stand-up comedians. They think that, when locked in a horizontal position, there is a best way for toilet paper to fall. The two options are over the top or down the back. We won’t even get into worm holes being used to solve this “problem.” It isn’t a problem. Who cares?
Do you know how many marriages ended in comedy related observations before stand-up comedians were invented? One percent. And after Einstein invented stand-up comedy? Two percent. That’s double what it used to be!
The proper reaction to someone talking about the correct orientation of toilet paper is to sock them in the teeth. You should be wearing chain mail gloves while doing this. No sense in cutting your knuckles up.
Here are other things that dumb dummies think are issues but are not:
- Toilet seat position (so toilet obsessed)
- How toast hits the floor
- Babies on airplanes
- Babies in dumpsters
- Reaganomics
- How bitches be trippin
Who regrets never having figured out the toilet paper orientation issue on their death bed? Nobody! Instead they’re all, like, “Oh, I’m so mortal. I wish I was a computer.” Chumps.
Whoops a Daisy
We know, we know! You love you Monday podcast updates. And we love you. But it isn’t going to happen this week. The immeasurably insignificant gravitational pull of aligning planets have caused our crab signs to fight some bulls. Or something. Anyways, there will be a new podcast up next week.
In the meantime, why not check out the new shows that will be going up at the NoisePicnic podcasting network this week? You don’t have to answer “why not.” That was more of just a thing to say. But you can answer it if you like. Why not?
Manuel Carbonell: Computer-pedia
Manuel Carbonell, the last of the Cuban Master Sculptors. He was a guy who looked at a piece of wood and said, “That ain’t no wood. I see an eagle or something crazy in there.” And then he used a tooth brush to carve out that crazy thing. Maybe not a toothbrush. Probably a chisel or something. I don’t know.
(photo by Joyce Lowry)
So, anyways, Manuel is still alive. But he’s very old. So hold on to those sculptures. Also, I asked him “don’t you hate Cuba” and he was “no, Cuba is awesome and sexy.” Whatever. I didn’t really care.
When asked what kind of board games Manuel liked, he said Monopoly. That was kind of weird for someone from a communist nation. He might have said CandyLand. Google Translate was kinda iffy on the whole thing. He said “dulces de la tierra.” Sounds like Monopoly, right?
Current sculptures by Manuel look like the ship from Flight of the Navigator, painted black, squished, and stretch. They also sound like Paul Rubens. You have to listen real close though.
So, to wrap up this entry, have you ever seen a bird and you didn’t know what it was? That’s the only time anyone ever uses a bird book. Well, a coaster too. To look up birds and act as a coaster.
Mustache Rangers Classic
The Mustache Rangers have a new podcast! Sort of. This week NoisePicnic, a podcasting network for creative and talented podcasters created by Aric McKeown and Mike Fotis, launched. And one of the featured podcasts is Mustache Rangers Classic!
Mustache Rangers Classic is a new take on the oldest Mustache Rangers episodes. Starting from episode number one, the audio is being cleaned for a more pleasant listening experience. The podcasts will also be re-edited, or edited for the first time, to make them snappier and more fun to listen to.
I know. We all love long awkward pauses. But maybe less will be better. And not “maybe” but “certainly.”
New Mustache Rangers episodes will continue to be published here, but for a trip into the pleasant past you should check out NoisePicnic and Mustache Rangers Classic!
The Mustache Rangers Sell Out
Starting July 7th, the Mustache Rangers live stage show returns to HUGE Improv Theater. Join the Mustache Rangers and special guests Deutschland as they bring you an evening of entertainment for the low price of $5.
But, hold on one second! If one of the six Mustache Rangers shows sells out, the remaining shows are free! So if the July 7th show sells out, then you can see the remaining five shows for the low price of $0.
Pass the news around. The Mustache Rangers would love to put on a free show for you. Get everyone you know to the July 7th show.
8pm. HUGE Improv Theater. Don’t miss it.
The Great Mustache Rangers Equipment Upgrade!
The Mustache Rangers are looking for your help to upgrade their podcasting setup! Go to the Equipment Upgrade page to see how you can help! Exclamation points!
150 Review Challenge
Here’s the deal. The ratings and reviews on the iTunes listing for the Mustache Rangers are lacking. Don’t get us wrong. We deeply appreciate everyone who has left a review so far. But we need more.
iTunes is how a majority of listeners find new podcasts. Ratings and reviews are how iTunes determines which podcasts they should feature on their site. So to grow the Mustache Rangers audience, we need more ratings and reviews.
We are looking to boost our current number of ratings, which is sitting at 42, to 150.
So, you want a reward huh? Well, we’ll give you more podcasts. You may or may not know that Computer has been calling folks. And he may or may not know that we have been recording these calls.
Well, if we make the goal of 150 iTunes ratings (don’t skimp on the reviews either), then we will begin to release these computer calls as podcasts for everyone to enjoy.
We know you’re already listening to the podcast. So please, if you would be so kind, leave a rating and review on iTunes and encourage others to do the same.
HUGE Fundraiser and Mustache Rangers Auction
The 2nd Annual HUGE Improv Theater Fundraiser is this Saturday, and it is going to be a heck of a show. Rich Sommer, of Mad Men and The Office, and Justin Pierre, of Motion City Soundtrack, will be there along with one of the two Mustache Rangers.
But beyond that, there will be a silent auction to raise money for HUGE. And the Mustache Rangers have donated their time to the auction in the form of An Awkward Dinner with the Mustache Rangers. The winners of this auction will get to spend an awkward night at the Shout House piano bar with the Mustache Rangers. What sort of stilted and hilarious conversation will occur? You’ll have to bid, and win, to find out!
Details on the entire evening are below. Please come, enjoy, and support HUGE Improv Theater and the improv community in Minneapolis!
What: HUGE Theater’s 2nd Annual Fundraiser, a night to support improvisation in the Twin Cities
Where: HUGE Theater
3037 Lyndale Ave South, MinneapolisWhen: Saturday, March 5
Doors: 7pm, Show at 8pmWho: The cast of HUGE Theater plus special guests Justin Pierre (Motion City Soundtrack) and Rich Sommer (Mad Men, The Office)
How: RSVP to reservations@hugetheater.com
How Much: $20
Details:
It’s been just one year since the folks behind HUGE Improv Theater had their first fundraiser to give scenic improvisation a home in the Twin Cities.Thanks to people like you, HUGE exists! The theater hosts six nights of shows a week and hundreds of improv fans have come through the doors.
But your support is as crucial as ever. You can help ensure improvisation has a dedicated space in the Twin Cities for years to come.
We hope you’ll join us for our second annual fundraiser Saturday March 5th, a night to support HUGE Theater and Twin Cities improv.
You’ll be treated to an all-star show from the best improvisers in the state. Plus Justin Pierre of Motion City Soundtrack and Rich Sommer of Mad Men will join us as part of Matt Donnelly’s Celebrity Tarot Lounge.
Don’t miss what promises to be an amazing evening.
Purchase a Call from Computer
Have you ever wanted to have the Mustache Rangers’ Computer call someone you know? Well, lucky day! Now you can!
Harnessing the power of the future, you can now have Computer call your friends for the low price of 2 American dollars.
What a great gift this would be for some lucky boy or girl! Who hasn’t wanted to get sassed by a sassy space computer from space?
Click here for more information! Do not delay! Or delay all you want. We don’t care.
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