Comedy | Sci-Fi | Improv
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 16:43 — 5.7MB)
The worm has turned, but it still does not know which way is up. That is Ranger code for, “Go to bed and do not allow the bugs of your bed consume you.”
There is another saying that is code, but it was spoken by a porcupine and heard only by the trees. Space trees.
Enjoy this week’s interpod netcast.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:48 — 4.4MB)
Every period in history is the most mucked up period in history to those who are living it. The only solution is to remove yourself from history all together. This is easier said than done, which is true of everything for everyone except those who are mute.
We do not know why you continue to read, when there are exciting adventures to listen to. You are a fool. Your parents have been informed.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:16 — 3.9MB)
Many things have reached the number twenty. The number of teeth you may have. The eyes waiting for you in a growth laboratory. Many a thing.
Mind you, none of your things are as important as the great Mustache Rangers and their cause. Remember that twenty times over and we shall be square.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:03 — 3.8MB)
Centuries are full of facts. In fact, a century is either ninety-nine or one hundred consecutive years. If you have fifty years, and then you take a break, followed by another fifty years, that is not a century. Perhaps you have created novelty plastic cups to mark the occasion. Those cups will be an eternal reminder of your fraud. Melt them into a statue to remind you of your foolishness.
The Mustache Rangers are not allowed to drink from cups.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:26 — 2.9MB)
The Mustache Rangers are many things. Many many things, in fact. They are more things than they are not. For example, the Mustache Rangers are flesh and blood. The Mustache Rangers are made of stone. The Mustache Rangers were born of a man and a woman and another woman with another man in there. The Mustache Rangers are not red.
We hope that this clears your mind of any misconceptions. Enjoy this week’s episode.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:14 — 4.9MB)
Big things were happening this week’s end in the universe. A moving picture involving a man in the tightest of clothings opened, and become the most widely viewed film-o-tron ever. This certainly makes it the best of its kind. Three of your cheeriest cheers for ErotoMan 3!
The Mustache Rangers were unable to view this picture in motion due to their proximity to a house registered in the projection of these magical pictures. A manuscript of the picture has been sent for their reading pleasure.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:28 — 3.9MB)
It has been stated, by some, that love is the most powerful force in the universe. These some have certainly not run into a very fast toddler with arms twice the length of his legs. Also, the toddler is twenty miles tall. This, ladies of faint heart, is the most powerful force in the universe. And it is mad at the lack of holidays based around its existence. Beware this toddler of giant proportions. His long arms hug planets with pure hatred.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:32 — 4.0MB)
Out in the outer space, there is a small planet that orbits an even smaller planet that orbits a sun orbiting a monster. One man lives on this tiny planet. If two people were to live there, the planet would collapse due to stress applied by another being. This lone man is the politest man in the universe, because if he pisses you off you can easily destroy his planet.
In other news, the Mustache Rangers are here with another episode. It can not be crushed by standing on it.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:01 — 4.8MB)
There are many popular songs put out on the phonograph cylinder in regards to love and loss. At times, loss may feel like the more comforting of the two items stated. Love is a tricky wild animal full of the sharpest of teeth. Loss is a dead squirrel in the middle of the horse drawn carriage path. Loss is easy to come by, and can be a perpetual partner. That being said, the Mustache Rangers talk about things in this episode. Enjoy with our semi-well wishes.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:00 — 5.1MB)
Where there is dirt, there will be the Mustache Rangers. Actually, that isn’t true. But the other way around seems accurate. Regardless, the Mustache Rangers are kings of the sky. Don’t you forget it, wide eyed wonderer.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 13:32 — 4.6MB)
Space is lonely. The sky may appear to be full of stars, but there is much more nothing in space than there is something.
The odds often seem to be against us, when it comes to connecting with another creature. Certainly, though, you should not give in to giving up. What is there to do, if not try? Try and fail or try and succeed. Either way, you tried.
And if you fail, you must go into the shame cave.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:26 — 2.9MB)
In part two of an episode with two parts, the Mustache Rangers find themselves using their legs for locomotion. There are no sk8 boreds in the future. Or the past. In fact, all history of their existence has been erased. Except for this record. Which will soon be erased.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:53 — 3.0MB)
You may or may not be interested in knowing facts. Facts may seem to be an affront to your belief system. For example, the belief that you can spend all of a Sunday with your best chums while leaving your lady to pine. The facts tell you that ladies need attention, flowers, and metal. If facts are ignored, consequences are had.
There are no facts in this episode of The Mustache Rangers.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:27 — 3.9MB)
The Mustache Rangers are pushing, unwillingly, into action today! Can you resist the promise of thrills and spills and pills and drills and fraudulent wills and whiskey stills and an angry Mike Mills? We did not think so. Our suggestion is to give in to your desires. Let them control you. Simply make certain that your desires are not to murder the queen of America. That is an unacceptable desire.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:21 — 3.2MB)
It is eternally springtime in space, which means it is always time to redecorate. Sadly, there are no antique shops in space. An old wagon wheel made into a dart board would be perfect for the room of recreation. What are the Mustache Rangers to do?