Comedy | Sci-Fi | Improv
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:15 — 5.8MB)
Where is the thing when you need it? You know, the thing that cuts your food? No, not a knife. But there are no knives either. Where did all the utensils go? Are they all sitting dirty in the sink? We shouldn’t have to use our hands like hand animals.
The Mustache Rangers go on a scavenger hunt in this episode. Buckle up your ear buds.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 10:26 — 9.6MB)
Stand-up comedy can be difficult. Unless you bring all your co-workers. Then they’ll all pretend that you did a great job when they see you at work the next day.
But what if you put secret recording devices on all your co-workers to hear what they really think of you? That would be expensive. If you’re considering a life of stand-up comedy, you do not have the money for these things. Just assume your co-workers are liars.
This Mustache Rangers podcast is about stand-up comedy. Eat it up with your brain tubes.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 33:52 — 31.0MB)
The Mustache Rangers defeat Smaug in the gripping conclusion to the trilogy based loosely on the works of J.R.R. Tolkien.
Thank you all.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:32 — 8.8MB)
This is the second to last episode of the Mustache Rangers podcast. It’s about doing the laundry. Sort of. Enjoy it or don’t. It’s all the same to the universe.
Enjoy.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 13:27 — 9.3MB)
A whodunit the likes of which John Grisham only dreamed. Phooneybaum and Bastidious must rack their brains to figure out the culprit in the daring unicorn figurine breakage case. Could it be the butler or the chamber maid? Or perhaps the scorned lover! You’ll have to listen to find out.
P.S. It is neither of those.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 13:42 — 9.4MB)
Some episodes of the Mustache Rangers are great for the whole family. This is not one of them. This is for kids only. No, wait. The other way around. This is specifically not for children. That would have been a mess, huh? Glad we fixed that.
In this episode, Phooneybaum tries to guess what is in the Commander Major’s box. That’s about it. The Mustache Rangers probably had an amazing space adventure directly before or after this episode. No matter. You get to hear box talk. Listen with your side orifices.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 16:56 — 11.7MB)
We can all agree that motivational speakers are con artists and that workshops are scams. Unless those speakers or workshop leaders are from the Mustache Rangers. Then you’d be a fool not to pay any price demanded for the charisma and knowledge they provide.
A workshop in its infancy and the wonders of Powerpoint lead the charge in this podcast episode, which takes the listener (you) behind the curtain of a Mustache Rangers brainstorming session. Put the sounds in your side head errors.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:38 — 8.0MB)
When a podcast dies, the number of mourners at the funeral is equal to the number of iTunes reviews it has divided by 1,000. The 0.055 people at the Mustache Rangers podcast funeral made for a rather sad celebration, which is why the Mustache Rangers made the decision to give death. The Mustache Rangers are back to entertain and find another 0.150 people to show up at their funeral. Spread the word. Death is a choice!
Fashion, confidence, and twirling are the subjects of this Mustache Rangers podcast episode. Also, an odd fascination with sun dresses. If you have any suggestions for the male equivalent of a sun dress, tell the Mustache Rangers on Twitter at @mustacherangers or on Facebook at http://facebook.com/mustacherangers. Enjoy this podcast with your head pits.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:17 — 5.7MB)
School is a very special time in a child’s life. It’s when they really learn how to be embarrassed. You think Uncle Rick tickling you until you wet your pants is shameful? Just wait until you express an individual sense of style!
The Mustache Rangers explore teaching and testing in this podcast episode. Why don’t you share it with your neighbor? Sure, you only accidentally make eye contact with them when you’re both getting your mail at the same time. But they might like the podcast. Take that risk!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:41 — 6.0MB)
Misogyny and campfires are the main focus of this, the first Mustache Rangers podcast of 2013. We’re sorry we’ve been gone so long, but we were so anxious for Arrested Development to return we couldn’t concentrate.
Did you know that misogyny still exists? And it’s mainly men who are the cause? Mainly manly men. Mainly many manly men. What were we talking about? Listen to the podcast already, and tell your friends.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:24 — 5.8MB)
You may love time travel movies, but they don’t make any sense. Don’t worry about it. Your brain and the writer’s brain are too dumb to make heads or tails of time travel. It’s the limitation of this biological sponge in our head. You fill a sponge with protein lines and jab it with electricity and expect it to understand the flow and obstruction of time? If you do, then your sponge could use some extra electricity to the front part of the sponge part.
Enjoy this week’s podcast, dummy.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 10:51 — 7.5MB)
Diet fads come and go as surely as the tides and bell bottoms. You can say “bootcut” but you’re not fooling anybody, the Gap. But getting back to diets, everyone is looking for the quick fix. The superfood or the magic bacteria that will eat your insides, but just enough so that you look pretty and your bowel movements smell like a kitten’s dreams.
We’re here to tell you that the kitten bacteria doesn’t exist. The only way to properly manage your weight is with a calendar of some kind. One that berates you daily. It’ll say things like “how many doughnuts is that now” or “still putting off buying running shoes, huh?” If the calendar is correct about your laziness, you’ll feel bad and maybe make a change. If the calendar is wrong, you can feel better about yourself for being smarter than a calendar. Either way, improvements are made and you’ll start to feel better.
This is for poor people only, of course. For rich people, get someone to stab the fat out of you. We think it’s called “surgery” or “insurgency.” Those words probably mean the same thing, like “flammable” and “inflammable.” So get insurgency already.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:15 — 6.4MB)
Other people’s opinions are the topic of discussion in this Mustache Rangers podcast episode. Interesting fact. Did you know that everybody has an opinion? It’s true! Even babies are all, like, “what’s with all the light and the lack of amniotic fluid out here?” That was just translated with a baby translator, by the way. That’s probably why you haven’t heard about it in the news yet.
Some people say “opinions are like assholes, everyone has their finger in one.” Stay away from those sorts of people. They really know how to mess up a good saying. They’re probably mixing up that nursery rhyme about Little Jack Horner and that saying about opinions. At least, that’s our opinion on the mattter.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:06 — 6.3MB)
Hell and decorating are the topics of this Mustache Rangers podcast episode. More decorating than hell, but “go to decoration school” isn’t a very catchy podcast title. Maybe you have a better idea for a title. Well, you can shove it. We don’t want to hear it. Make your own damn podcast. Leave us along. Enjoy!
