Things We Can Surmise

Statistically speaking, these are the things Mustache Rangers Central Command knows you are not doing.

• Telling all of your friends and family to listen to the continuing adventures of the Mustache Rangers.
• Joining the Mustache Rangers Cadets.
• Creating amazing pictorial representations of the Mustache Rangers.
• Mixing the Mustache Rangers theme song with some obese beats.

Now we fully understand that some true Ranger fans are doing these things. But for the sake of argument, nobody is doing these things. Even the people who are. We will take you to space court if you claim otherwise.

We request that you do all of these things. Or failing that, doing the entirety of everything. Is that so much to ask? Then the Great Mustache commands it. The Great Mustache never asks. And all of his words appear in red.