Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:16 — 3.9MB)

Many things have reached the number twenty. The number of teeth you may have. The eyes waiting for you in a growth laboratory. Many a thing.

Mind you, none of your things are as important as the great Mustache Rangers and their cause. Remember that twenty times over and we shall be square.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:03 — 3.8MB)

Centuries are full of facts. In fact, a century is either ninety-nine or one hundred consecutive years. If you have fifty years, and then you take a break, followed by another fifty years, that is not a century. Perhaps you have created novelty plastic cups to mark the occasion. Those cups will be an eternal reminder of your fraud. Melt them into a statue to remind you of your foolishness.

The Mustache Rangers are not allowed to drink from cups.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:26 — 2.9MB)

The Mustache Rangers are many things. Many many things, in fact. They are more things than they are not. For example, the Mustache Rangers are flesh and blood. The Mustache Rangers are made of stone. The Mustache Rangers were born of a man and a woman and another woman with another man in there. The Mustache Rangers are not red.

We hope that this clears your mind of any misconceptions. Enjoy this week’s episode.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:14 — 4.9MB)

Big things were happening this week’s end in the universe. A moving picture involving a man in the tightest of clothings opened, and become the most widely viewed film-o-tron ever. This certainly makes it the best of its kind. Three of your cheeriest cheers for ErotoMan 3!

The Mustache Rangers were unable to view this picture in motion due to their proximity to a house registered in the projection of these magical pictures. A manuscript of the picture has been sent for their reading pleasure.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:28 — 3.9MB)

It has been stated, by some, that love is the most powerful force in the universe. These some have certainly not run into a very fast toddler with arms twice the length of his legs. Also, the toddler is twenty miles tall. This, ladies of faint heart, is the most powerful force in the universe. And it is mad at the lack of holidays based around its existence. Beware this toddler of giant proportions. His long arms hug planets with pure hatred.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:32 — 4.0MB)

Out in the outer space, there is a small planet that orbits an even smaller planet that orbits a sun orbiting a monster. One man lives on this tiny planet. If two people were to live there, the planet would collapse due to stress applied by another being. This lone man is the politest man in the universe, because if he pisses you off you can easily destroy his planet.

In other news, the Mustache Rangers are here with another episode. It can not be crushed by standing on it.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:01 — 4.8MB)

There are many popular songs put out on the phonograph cylinder in regards to love and loss. At times, loss may feel like the more comforting of the two items stated. Love is a tricky wild animal full of the sharpest of teeth. Loss is a dead squirrel in the middle of the horse drawn carriage path. Loss is easy to come by, and can be a perpetual partner. That being said, the Mustache Rangers talk about things in this episode. Enjoy with our semi-well wishes.