- With all the advancements in technology, you think they would have improved on the shower. But no, sentient slave water is the best we can do.
- You can try all the expensive waxes you like, but nothing beats star lard for styling your mustache.
- This Andromedian Milfoil is getting out of control.
- Universal healthcare is a joke. Why am I paying the medical costs for some bum in the Small Magellanic Cloud?
- You may think being “King of Planet ____” if a big deal, but they’re little more than a bathroom attendant to the Mustache Rangers. Except we don’t tip kings.
- Can’t sleep. Wish the Commander Major hadn’t stored his giant truck full of ventriloquist dummies in my room. And I wish that trunk were not bleeding and pulsating.
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