Join America’s space conquerers! Become a cadet in the Mustache Rangers! Joining is easy! Simply send an electro-mail to mustacherangers@gmail.com containing a picture of you as a hopeful cadet!
Picture must include:
– You with a mustache
– You providing the universally accepted symbol of a thumbs up
Pictures of all new recruits will be displayed here so the enemy will know that our numbers are indeed great!
Hi,
Since making an informed decision to grow a mustache 1 earth week ago, I have found your casts of pod essential material.
I will be recommending them to my Father, who is also a proud owner of a magnificent mustache.
Cheers,
Martin
Salutations Mustache Rangers,
I’d like to take this opportunity to anounce that Mustache Rangers Central Command has accepted my entrance into the noble ranks as a Cadet. I will endeaver to fulfil my duty as a Mustache Ranger Cadet.
I have a query for Central Command. As an Englishman, I have researched into the history of the mustache in Britain.
In the British Army, it used to be required that all soldiers or all ranks grew facial hair.
The lower ranks were required to grow a regular mustache. As they rose through the ranks, they were then required to grow further facial hair, such as side burns and finally a full beard as they reached the highest ranks in command.
I have observed that the noble Commander Major Alastair Q. Bastidious and First Lieutenant Rutuger G. Phooneybaum are both sporting magnificent Mustaches, which appear to be in the style of the traditional, “English” mustache, “a style that is narrow, beginning at the middle of the upper lip the whiskers are very long and pulled to the side, slightly curled; the ends are pointed slightly upward; areas past the corner of the mouth must be shaved. Artificial styling aids permitted.”
My query is, will the Mustache Rangers also be employing such mustache heirachy, or will Cadets be permitted to groom their mustache in their style of their choosing?
Cadet Martin (rank 003)
Keen as I am to join the Cadets, I am no more capable of cultivating a mustache than I am able to write my name in the snow. Perhaps menopause will render me eligible. Until then, are prosthetics allowed? I mean mustaches, not snow scribers.
Beg, borrow, cheat or steal. All is fair in acquiring a decoration for your upper lip. If you acquired decoration for your lower lip, it is called a beard and you have failed miserably.
We have become 4, the ranks are swelling.
Cadet Martin (rank 003)
I wish desperately to join the ranks of the Famous and Daring Moustache Rangers.. but alas! I am unable to grow a moustache! The Great Moustache has forsaken me, I am only able to grow a massive biker beard instead… I am fit only to be phasered…
Can you dye the bottom half of your beard to match your skin, so that from a distance it will look like you only have a mustache?
Dear prospective cadets,
Mustache Rangers Central Command can not openly support the drawing of mustaches on your face with marker.
However, if you were here standing next to us, you would be receiving a hint in the way of a big wink.
– Mustache Rangers Central Command