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The Mustache Rangers have travel far and wide, but never in their 700 years have they come upon something so utterly shocking! Something that makes you want to call up your best girl and marry her, have two kids, and then fall asleep with a bottle of booze in each hand for the next fifty years. Will you be able to handle what the Mustache Rangers have ordered for today’s course of adventure?

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When we last left our heroic Mustache Rangers, they had just landed on the planet of Bluton. What historical and/or hideous aliens will the Rangers find on the famous red planet of Bluton? Hold on one second. Wouldn’t the Mustache Rangers be the aliens on a strange new planet? The answer is no. The Mustache Rangers own all planets. Never forget.

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Birthdays occur, even in space. You can not hide from them. They will always find you. There is nothing to do but give up and try to enjoy them. Unless you are a Mustache Ranger, as they can never give up. Under penalty of death. Although that would put an end to birthdays. This is a sticky situation, is it not?

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The Great Mustache demands very little. When it does demand, it is very specific. We invite you to enjoy a true rarity. A simple glimpse of the Mustache Rangers Code of Conduct. Will you prove yourself worthy of service in the Mustache Rangers or will go run screaming in the opposite direction. Hide in your hooch hole, coward! You are no proper Ranger!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:37 — 4.3MB)

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Stranded! Alone on an unfamiliar planet, the Mustache Rangers must search the barren wasteland for rocket fuel, food, and anything worth claiming for America! Chin up, Rangers. Nothing is hopeless except for those freeloading hobos. America is about hard work, gentlemen, not free rides on the freedom rails!