Things We Can Surmise

Statistically speaking, these are the things Mustache Rangers Central Command knows you are not doing.

Now we fully understand that some true Ranger fans are doing these things. But for the sake of argument, nobody is doing these things. Even the people who are. We will take you to space court if you claim otherwise.

We request that you do all of these things. Or failing that, doing the entirety of everything. Is that so much to ask? Then the Great Mustache commands it. The Great Mustache never asks. And all of his words appear in red.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 37

It has come to the attention of Mustache Rangers Central Command that small dogs are all of the rage in this day of ages. Please understand that must halt any and all of this rage as soon as possible. If the rage is not contained, a letter of strong wording will find its way to you.

The Mustache Rangers have a box today.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 36

It is a well believed fact that “frat” is short for “fraternity.” Perhaps we are missing the bigger picture. Is there a much longer word out there that “fraternity” is short for? And if so, is that word simply short for another word? How high does this word hierarchy of mystery go? And who will bring it to its knees?

The Mustache Rangers discuss their fears in this week’s episode. Do not fear listening to it. That would be stupid, to put it lightly.

The Mustache Rangers Theme Contest

The Mustache Rangers have been traveling around space for a very long time. Musical styles have changed and updated, as they shouldn’t but do. The Mustache Rangers are proud to be coming out of the past closet of the past and moving into the sitting room of the future ages.

Mustache Rangers Central Command is hereby announcing a contest to rearrangemix the Mustache Rangers theme song. The most talented updates to the Mustache Rangers theme will be played during the beginning of the Mustache Rangers interpod netcasts. Credit will be given to the mighty music modulator and their endeavors.

The Mustache Rangers theme is Smiles and Chuckles(right-click and “Save As..” to download) by the Six Brown Brothers. Thanks be to Folded Space for providing the MP3 version of the music.

What are you waiting for? The future is now, as we’ve heard. Send your winningest entry to [email protected] for harsh judgment.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 35

A bag of air should contain only air. Dead rats and fleas should be taken out at the processing plant. It make a relaxing breathing experience very unreasonable.

The Mustache Rangers get stuck in some sort of loop today. I don’t know.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 34

There are many types of love in the galaxy. The love between dirt and the skin under fingernails. The love of brain devouring bacteria for brains to devour with bacteria. The love of vampires by the very very pale. With that in mind, forever be aware that love is stupid.

The Mustache Rangers bring you a wonderful adventure of woe, or something, today. And when you’re finished with that, why not check out Teknikal Diffikulties?

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 33

There is a need within every creature with blood for oxygen. You could say that we are all oxygen vampires. If oxygen was only available within other people, you would be biting them to steal their oxygen. So don’t pretend you are better than vampires.

The Mustache Rangers get a few things off their chest in this week’s episode.