The Mustache Rangers Hate Kids: Episode 152

Who doesn’t hate children? Even children hate children. Speaking of children, the Mustache Rangers get a call from Jack Harty of the famous Harty Boys in this week’s podcast. You may have heard about their success with the case of the limping platypus. You may not have too. You should have though. The Harty Boys are very noisy children.

The Mustache Rangers Come Up: Episode 151

Sometimes, after a few cold ones, you might get to thinking that a stylish goatee would really compliment your mustache. That’s when you need to call the Mustache Rangers hotline at 612-234-3456 so we can get you some help, because that is crazy thinking.

There is a new podcast this week. Dial it up on your computer phone.

The Mustache Rangers Turn 150: Episode 150

It may surprise you that there are 150 episodes of the Mustache Rangers podcast available for your listening pleasure. It may also surprise you that air is necessary for your survival. If both of these things surprise you, someone can probably claim you as a dependent on their tax forms.

The Mustache Rangers celebrate their 150th episode today with their 150th episode. It’s like a hand drawing the hand that is drawing it. Enjoy!

The Mustache Rangers and the Beetrothed: Episode 148

Just another podcast episode where the guys are floating around in their spaceshi….holy crap! They aren’t on the spaceship today? Well butter my bottom and call me Jessica Tandy’s friend Margret.

Enjoy this week’s podcast. We can’t make you. It is only a suggestion.

Sound FX attributes:
By Benboncan (
By Tito Lahaye (

Computer-pedia: Old Vanderburgh County Courthouse

Old Vanderburgh County CourthouseThe Old Vanderburgh County Courthouse, often simply called “Old Courty Court,” is a place where old people used to go to talk about boring things but not anymore. It is now a home for vegetarian snakes. Do not be fooled. Vegetarian snakes still bite.

Originally located in Evansville, Indiana, the courthouse was moved to Greece in 3015. The Grecian government had ordered too many vegetarian snakes from Lord Darkness of the Rainbow Nebula for their Special Snake Olympics and they needed a place to store the snakes. Old Courty Court was the obvious choice.

After the courthouse was moved entirely by brown field mice, it was filled with sand and lettuce for the vegetarian snakes. The mice were invited to stay, as thanks for their hard work, but they were too bigoted against snakes to accept the offer and instead decided to drown themselves en masse in the KFC Sea(formerly the Aegean Sea).

The snakes that inhabit Old Courty Court never age, never breed, and never die. This is because the building was placed on a gypsy by the brown field mice. The snakes pray for death, but it never comes. Also, they are always hungry. Also, no one will install cable there because they are creeped out by immortal snakes for some reason.

All snakes ordered from Lord Darkness were thrown out of the Special Snake Olympics due to drug violations.

(Photo by jimmywayne)

Phooneybaum Phoughts: Space-Time 0.29.AXE.333.p

  • With all the advancements in technology, you think they would have improved on the shower. But no, sentient slave water is the best we can do.
  • You can try all the expensive waxes you like, but nothing beats star lard for styling your mustache.
  • This Andromedian Milfoil is getting out of control.
  • Universal healthcare is a joke. Why am I paying the medical costs for some bum in the Small Magellanic Cloud?
  • You may think being “King of Planet ____” if a big deal, but they’re little more than a bathroom attendant to the Mustache Rangers. Except we don’t tip kings.
  • Can’t sleep. Wish the Commander Major hadn’t stored his giant truck full of ventriloquist dummies in my room. And I wish that trunk were not bleeding and pulsating.

The Mustache Rangers Run Away: Episode 147

Sometime the best thing you can do with your problems is to run away from them. Do you believe that? You shouldn’t. You need to break the legs of your problems first, and then run away from them. Really? Modern science, people! You need to break the legs of your problems, destroy all of medical science, and then run away. Can you taste the freedom yet?

The Mustache Rangers have a podcast here for you to listen to. Listen to it.