Where there is dirt, there will be the Mustache Rangers. Actually, that isn’t true. But the other way around seems accurate. Regardless, the Mustache Rangers are kings of the sky. Don’t you forget it, wide eyed wonderer.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 15:00 — 5.1MB)

Space is lonely. The sky may appear to be full of stars, but there is much more nothing in space than there is something.

The odds often seem to be against us, when it comes to connecting with another creature. Certainly, though, you should not give in to giving up. What is there to do, if not try? Try and fail or try and succeed. Either way, you tried.

And if you fail, you must go into the shame cave.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 13:32 — 4.6MB)

In part two of an episode with two parts, the Mustache Rangers find themselves using their legs for locomotion. There are no sk8 boreds in the future. Or the past. In fact, all history of their existence has been erased. Except for this record. Which will soon be erased.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 8:26 — 2.9MB)

You may or may not be interested in knowing facts. Facts may seem to be an affront to your belief system. For example, the belief that you can spend all of a Sunday with your best chums while leaving your lady to pine. The facts tell you that ladies need attention, flowers, and metal. If facts are ignored, consequences are had.

There are no facts in this episode of The Mustache Rangers.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 8:53 — 3.0MB)

The Mustache Rangers are pushing, unwillingly, into action today! Can you resist the promise of thrills and spills and pills and drills and fraudulent wills and whiskey stills and an angry Mike Mills? We did not think so. Our suggestion is to give in to your desires. Let them control you. Simply make certain that your desires are not to murder the queen of America. That is an unacceptable desire.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 11:27 — 3.9MB)

It is eternally springtime in space, which means it is always time to redecorate. Sadly, there are no antique shops in space. An old wagon wheel made into a dart board would be perfect for the room of recreation. What are the Mustache Rangers to do?

Podcast: Download (Duration: 9:21 — 3.2MB)

The Mustache Rangers have travel far and wide, but never in their 700 years have they come upon something so utterly shocking! Something that makes you want to call up your best girl and marry her, have two kids, and then fall asleep with a bottle of booze in each hand for the next fifty years. Will you be able to handle what the Mustache Rangers have ordered for today’s course of adventure?

Podcast: Download (Duration: 13:39 — 4.7MB)

When we last left our heroic Mustache Rangers, they had just landed on the planet of Bluton. What historical and/or hideous aliens will the Rangers find on the famous red planet of Bluton? Hold on one second. Wouldn’t the Mustache Rangers be the aliens on a strange new planet? The answer is no. The Mustache Rangers own all planets. Never forget.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 7:02 — 2.4MB)