Out in the outer space, there is a small planet that orbits an even smaller planet that orbits a sun orbiting a monster. One man lives on this tiny planet. If two people were to live there, the planet would collapse due to stress applied by another being. This lone man is the politest man in the universe, because if he pisses you off you can easily destroy his planet.

In other news, the Mustache Rangers are here with another episode. It can not be crushed by standing on it.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 11:32 — 4.0MB)

There are many popular songs put out on the phonograph cylinder in regards to love and loss. At times, loss may feel like the more comforting of the two items stated. Love is a tricky wild animal full of the sharpest of teeth. Loss is a dead squirrel in the middle of the horse drawn carriage path. Loss is easy to come by, and can be a perpetual partner. That being said, the Mustache Rangers talk about things in this episode. Enjoy with our semi-well wishes.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 14:01 — 4.8MB)

Where there is dirt, there will be the Mustache Rangers. Actually, that isn’t true. But the other way around seems accurate. Regardless, the Mustache Rangers are kings of the sky. Don’t you forget it, wide eyed wonderer.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 15:00 — 5.1MB)

Space is lonely. The sky may appear to be full of stars, but there is much more nothing in space than there is something.

The odds often seem to be against us, when it comes to connecting with another creature. Certainly, though, you should not give in to giving up. What is there to do, if not try? Try and fail or try and succeed. Either way, you tried.

And if you fail, you must go into the shame cave.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 13:32 — 4.6MB)

In part two of an episode with two parts, the Mustache Rangers find themselves using their legs for locomotion. There are no sk8 boreds in the future. Or the past. In fact, all history of their existence has been erased. Except for this record. Which will soon be erased.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 8:26 — 2.9MB)

You may or may not be interested in knowing facts. Facts may seem to be an affront to your belief system. For example, the belief that you can spend all of a Sunday with your best chums while leaving your lady to pine. The facts tell you that ladies need attention, flowers, and metal. If facts are ignored, consequences are had.

There are no facts in this episode of The Mustache Rangers.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 8:53 — 3.0MB)

The Mustache Rangers are pushing, unwillingly, into action today! Can you resist the promise of thrills and spills and pills and drills and fraudulent wills and whiskey stills and an angry Mike Mills? We did not think so. Our suggestion is to give in to your desires. Let them control you. Simply make certain that your desires are not to murder the queen of America. That is an unacceptable desire.

Podcast: Download (Duration: 11:27 — 3.9MB)

It is eternally springtime in space, which means it is always time to redecorate. Sadly, there are no antique shops in space. An old wagon wheel made into a dart board would be perfect for the room of recreation. What are the Mustache Rangers to do?

Podcast: Download (Duration: 9:21 — 3.2MB)